Nevermind.

You had a dream last night. One that reminded you of all the good times you used to have. Of all the hilarious phone conversations, Skype dates and trips you made…with him. You woke up with that aching feeling. You know…that feeling that comes whenever you allow yourself to think about the person formally known as that special someone. You immediately start going through old pictures, while listening to 112’s first album with a feeling of nostalgia, mixed with melancholy and confusion. Maybe you should give it another try. Maybe things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Maybe people change over time. Maybe time does really heal all pains. And maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to get back out there and give your relationship another whirl.

You get dressed in the color he used to like. And maybe you’ll put on a little make-up too, just because. You’ll send a text to your homegirl, seeing what’s new with her. But you’re really beating around the bush, and she knows it. She knows you and she knows you’re up to something. What you really want to ask her and eventually do is if she’s spoken to “so-in-so” lately and if he’s doing okay. How are his job and family? She doesn’t have much information to give, but she does give you something to think about. She asks “You miss him, huh”? To which you really have no answer. Why? Because you do, but you just aren’t ready to admit it yet.

So what now? You get onto Facebook and Instagram to see if he has a new girlfriend…or maybe even a kid. And just as you’re logging in & starting your “research” you get a frantic call from your other friend. She’s heartbroken and in pain, and needs an ear to listen to her. She starts to tell you how her boyfriend cheated, talks bad to her and makes her feel unappreciated. Not only is he immature, but he’s also broke and a complete pain in the ass. She’s going on & on about all of the things he’s done wrong, and as she’s speaking you’re scrolling down your FB and IG timeline and to see post after post from other women. Tweetgram after tweetgram from chicks… who’ve been scorned and disappointed. Abused and unappreciated. And just like that, the lonely feeling is gone. Your homegirl’s boyfriend is a loser and you don’t want to find yourself in the same situation. Because you remember now. You remember the arguments. You remember the disrespect. You remember how he looked wack in his favorite pair of jeans and how you felt like his babysitter. You remember how you wanted to push him out of the bed while he was sleeping. And you definitely remember that he was an asshole.

You snap out of that nostalgic state quick enough to tell your friend that her boyfriend needs to go *insert derogatory term of your choice* and recommend that you both and your other friends meet up for drinks. You let her curse his entire existence to you….and you immediately turn off that damn 112 album and put on some Young Jeezy. Because nothing snaps you out of missing someone/a situation faster than hearing someone rap about selling drugs. And after that phone call, there’s nothing you don’t want more than to be the victim of a bum relationship with a bum dude, who has bum breath and a bum personality.  Not today, at least.  Nevermind.